By Rick Fromme

As I’ve pointed out in earlier versions of this series, the study of laughter, scientifically known as gelotology, has repeatedly shown that humor, laughing, etc., creates a variety of positive physiological stimuli that affects our immune system, cardiopulmonary system and others. (See my previous blog, “Humerus Я Us.”)

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be laughing. So let’s get to it … Stat!

Specialty Related Humor

Pharmacology

As a pharmacist, I am often patients’ source of information about their medications. When one woman came to the pharmacy to get a refill on her suppositories, she asked me if I had any suggestions she could bring to her doctor. She said that the suppositories were not working. “And not only don’t they work, they hurt! Sometimes they even make me bleed!”

I looked at her prescription, pulled some suppositories from the shelf, and opened the box for her. She then showed me that the corners of the hard foil wrapper were sharp. Of course, I cringed when I realized that she was not removing the hard foil covers before inserting them.

Dentistry

An elderly patient went to have her teeth checked.

"Mrs. Sherman, your teeth are good for the next 50 years," the dentist beamed.

To which she replied,"I wonder … what will they do without me?"

Primary Care

A patient has a sore throat and goes to her doctor for a diagnosis. Doctor: “Your tonsils are infected and need to be removed,” the doctor says. I’ll refer you to an ENT.

“Doctor, with all due respect, I’d like a second opinion,” the dubious patient says.

“Okay,” quips the doctor. “You’re ugly, too. So I’ll also refer you to a cosmetic surgeon.”

OB/GYN

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No. 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What’s the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What’s the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

A Letter to The Patient's GP Please, Angela

A Baker’s Dozen of Tom Swifties

Created by Edward Stratemeyer, a Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a pithy phrase in which a sentence is linked by an adverbial pun that’s related to the subject of the phrase.

"We can take on one more patient today," Dr. Tom admitted.

"The pain’s between my sole and my heel," said Tom archly.

"I need a syringe of adrenaline, now!” barked Dr. Tom, with a bow.

"I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.

“The patient is Code Blue!” Dr. Tom shouted alarmingly.

"I wouldn't give that nursing student a grade of A," Professor Tom said beratingly.

"I dropped the toothpaste," signaled Tom, crestfallen.

“My new abstract is to be published in an upcoming book,” Professor Tom said contentedly.

"I feel terrible. I think I’m dying," Tom croaked.

"Don't add too much saline," said Dr. Tom with great concentration.

"This decay wasn't there before," said Tom neurotically.

"I won't tell you anything about my salivary glands," said Tom secretively.

"I'm glad I passed my EKG," Tom said wholeheartedly.

Season Three Bloopers Medical Course

Rhyme Time

The Dentist's Chair

In the dentist's chair I lie,
I am not brave, I think I'll cry.
He turns to me my tooth to fill,
I start to sweat I hear the drill.
I reach around and grab his crutch,
I begin to squeeze, but not too much.
I move my gaze his eyes to view.
“If you hurt me then I'll hurt you.”

Another Senior Moment

My eyes require an examination,
So I have to visit the optician.
As I walk along I can see the sign,
So for the door I make a beeline.
As I walk through the door I used,
I pause, more than a little confused.
I look around for a place to hide,
As I’ve just walked into the Nationwide.

Is it Urgent?

I awake unwell with swollen glands,
With fevered brow and sweaty hands.
I shake and shiver and cough and sneeze,
I sweat and flush and choke and wheeze.
I mutter and mumble and grunt and groan,
As I struggle downstairs to find the phone.
I first call work to let them know,
To the office today I will not show.
And then the doctor’s line I dial,
A stern voice answers in a while.
“What name?” is the curt response.
An appointment please, I say at once.
Well is it urgent? She retorts,
“Well, I’m not dying, just out of sorts.”
“You can see a doctor in three weeks time,”
“I hope to be better by then,” I chime.
“Shall I book you an appointment then?”
“No, if I’m not better I’ll call again.
But I'll say to you without offence,
If I’m still ill in three weeks hence,
I’ll eat my hat till I eat my fill
For I have never, ever been so ill.”

Bench Doctor Prank

Amused by the News

True Story

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a ground-breaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift. The new policy mimics a common Halloween tradition: leave a bowl full of candy outside with a sign that says Take One’ — allowing one to get drunk and not be bothered by children.

Placing a large bowl of Percocet in the waiting room has drastically cut down on the number of patients checking in at Holy Cross Hospital’s ER. “We basically say you are on the honor system,” Dr. Runofsky told Gomerblog, quenching concerns about patients taking too many pills home. “They came here demanding ‘Pain Drugs’ so help yourself.”

Typically an ER physician will argue with patients all night long regarding narcotic prescriptions. This causes longer wait times in the ER waiting room for all other comers. People with sore arms, teeth, ears, frenulums, and chronic abdominal pain will visit local ERs at odd hours for the remote hope that they will be prescribed Percocet — Dilaudid if the opioid gods find favor them.

“At first I was a little cynical of this new plan,” Dr. Harvey told reporters. “I mean most pain patients are allergic to Vicodin, Percocet, Motrin, and Tylenol, therefore — and quite coincidentally — Dilaudid is the only medication that helps with their pain. Was I ever wrong! Last night we had a no-hitter. That is the first on the books.”

Local resident, Patricia Storm, who used to have a Tylenol allergy raves about the new program. “I used to have a Tylenol allergy but that is when I had to wait three hours to get Dilaudid! Now all I have to do is walk in take a handful of Percocet and head home. My day isn’t ruined by my 10/10 pain.”

Costs have fallen, storage closets are full of script pads, wait times are at record lows, and the ER hasn’t received a complaint in months. Dilaumed prescriptions, not to be confused with Dilaudid, have disappeared completely.

Critics argue some patients prefer Oxycodone and even Fentanyl lollipops for their pain. Dr. Runofsky replied with an easy solution, “They can wait if they want to.”

To date no one has.

In this article, I briefly described some of the physiological benefits researchers have found can be attributed to regular "doses" of laughter. I shared jokes, "Tom Swifties," funny headlines and a news story, poems, videos and images all designed to get you laughing. If you liked this article, please pass it around and share it with others. If you'd like to leave a comment, link, joke, etc., please do so in the comment section below.

Rick Fromme combines entrepreneurial enthusiasm with an insider's knowledge of the medical industry to co-found MedMasters.com. Both his drive and perspective helps provide health care professionals with a superior mechanism with which to communicate, network and market their strengths. Prior to founding MedMasters.com, Rick operated a highly successful medical device distributorship. Other milestones in his 12-year career in the medical industry include a key position at a medical device start-up company that was later sold to the Ethicon Endo division of Johnson & Johnson. You may also reach Rick by connecting with him on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn and YouTube.